ایک بہت ہی فنی جوک ہے پڑھئے گا مزہ ضرور آئے گا
Kia Paani say gari chalana possible hi...dekhiye Agha Waqar kia kehtay hain
تین مہینے میں پانی سے گاڑی چلا کر دکھاؤوں گا
State Bank of Pakistan Approves ‘SimSim’ Mobile Wallet App
Pakistan’s first free mobile wallet, SimSim has received regulatory approval from the State Bank of Pakistan on Friday, 12th May, 2017. The approval was granted under the Branchless Banking Regulation framework formulated by SBP.
SimSim is collaboration between FINCA Microfinance Bank Limited and FINJA Pvt. Limited. This is the first time a bank and a fintech, acting as the super-agent of the bank, have partnered to create a digital financial product.
“SimSim’s pioneering instant mobile account will go a long way in boosting financial inclusion in the country and digitizing the economy”, M. Mudassar Aqil, CEO of FINCA Microfinance Bank Limited stated.
Discussing future plans for SimSim, Qasif Shahid, CEO of FINJA Pvt. Limited said that SimSim is not simply a product or an app, rather it is a movement to free digital commerce in Pakistan.
Monis Rahman, tech veteran and co-founder of FINJA Pvt. Limited added that the ease of becoming part of the SimSim network positions it as a platform, which users can spread and grow without any friction.
SimSim successfully completed a beta pilot prior to the formal approval from SBP, and recorded PKR 600 Million in transactions, 30,000 in self-registered mobile wallet accounts and a retail network of 500 participating merchants.
The mobile wallet is a highly innovative, automated process which relies on NADRA integration and machine learning. Anyone with a valid CNIC can create a SimSim branchless bank account, in under one minute, using their internet-enabled mobile phones.
SimSim is connected to other banks through 1-Link for instant transfers, while ATM cards are available for cash withdrawals. Payments through SimSim are free for the receiving and sending users with their mobile numbers acting as bank account numbers.
To be a part of the SimSim network, all anyone has to do is download the app from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store and set up their wallet.
About FINCA Microfinance Bank
FINCA, one of the fastest growing microfinance bank with a global presence in 21 countries and a network of 105 branches in 94 cities across Pakistan. It is the pioneer microfinance bank in Pakistan which truly introduced the first complete digital mobile wallet – SIMSIM.
About FINJA
FINJA, founded by veterans of the tech and banking industry, is a new entity in the Pakistani payments space. The Fintech has a mission to make digital commerce free in Pakistan.
Baghdad blasts kill 27 as Iraq forces battle IS in Mosul
Baghdad blasts kill 27 as Iraq forces battle IS in Mosul
BAGHDAD: Suicide bombings claimed by the Islamic State group killed at least 27 people in Baghdad, officials said on Tuesday, as Iraqi forces fight to retake the last jihadist-held areas in Mosul.
In the deadlier of the two attacks, a suicide bomber detonated an explosives-rigged vehicle at a popular ice cream shop at around midnight (2100 GMT Monday), killing at least 16 people and wounding 75.
The bomber struck just days after the start of the holy Muslim fasting month of Ramadan, during which Iraqis often stay out late shopping or socialising after breaking their daily fast.
IS issued statements claiming blast at the Al-Faqma ice cream shop and a later attack, saying both were suicide car bombings targeting members of Iraq’s Shia Muslim majority, whom the group considers heretics.
Haidar Hussein, a 22-year-old who was wounded in the blast, was sitting with friends at a small coffee shop near Al-Faqma.
A police captain tried to prevent a small white pickup truck from approaching the area, but the driver kept going forward and then the truck exploded, Hussein said.
The blast spread rubble everywhere, sparked a fire and threw Hussein to the ground, injuring his arm and leg.
After checking himself for wounds, he began to look for his friends.
“Many people were on the ground, including women and children, and the screams of the women and children got louder,” he said.
Among the dead was Hussein’s 22-year-old friend Karar, who left behind two wives and three children.
Images posted on social media showed the devastating impact of the attack, which ripped through the crowded area around the ice cream shop in the Karrada district of central Baghdad.
One picture showed ice cream cups scattered on the blood-stained ground.
In the second attack, a suicide bomber blew up a bomb-rigged vehicle near the country’s main pension office, which is close to one of the principal bridges over the River Tigris, said the Baghdad Operations Command.
The attack killed at least 11 people and wounded at least 40, officials said. The bombings in Baghdad come as Iraqi forces fight to retake the last IS-held areas of Mosul, a city that was the jihadist group’s most emblematic stronghold.
Iraqi forces are more than seven months into a massive operation to recapture the city from IS, and have already taken back its whole eastern side and much of the west.
Three neighbourhoods north of Mosul’s Old City — Al-Shifaa, Al-Saha and Al-Zinjili — are now the target of a broad assault by Iraqi soldiers, police and special forces that was launched last week.
On Tuesday, an Iraqi army officer said security forces were proceeding slowly in Al-Shifaa in a bid to protect infrastructure.
“The problem is that it is a neighbourhood with four or five hospitals,” Brigadier General Shakir Kadhim Mohsen told AFP in Mosul, adding that forces have permission to “take more time to spare the infrastructure and keep the civilians safe”.
Mohsen said IS was mainly relying on “snipers and suicide bombers” to target Iraqi forces, as it is running low on mortar rounds and explosives after losing sites it previously used to produce them. “There are 50 to 100 fighters moving from one building to another” in Al-Shifaa, he said. The United Nations has warned that up to 200,000 civilians who are believed to remain in IS-held areas of the city are in grave danger and that large numbers could flee.
“We are deeply concerned that right now, in the last final stages of the campaign to retake Mosul, that the civilians... in (IS) areas are probably at graver risk now than at any other stage of the campaign,” Lise Grande, the UN humanitarian coordinator for Iraq, told AFP.—AFP
Daily Mail - At least 80 are dead and 350 injured in massive suicide car bomb attack near British, US, French and German embassies in Kabul
At least 80 are dead and 350 injured in massive suicide car bomb attack near British, US, French and German embassies in Kabul
- Huge suicide truck bomb explosion rocked part of Kabul that houses embassies
- At least 80 have been killed and 350 more are injured, officials said this morning
- Taliban and ISIS have staged large-scale attacks in the Afghan capital in the past
At least 80 are dead and 350 more are injured after a massive truck bomb ripped through Kabul's diplomatic quarter this morning.
Bodies littered the street and a towering plume of smoke could be seen over the Afghan capital after the suicide attack blew out the windows in a number of international missions and residences nearby.
The target of the blast, which happened near the British, French, German and US embassies, was not immediately known but authorities said most of the casualties were civilians.
No group immediately claimed responsibility for the blast but both the Taliban and ISIS have staged large-scale attacks in Kabul in the past.
Amid the chaos and confusion in the aftermath of the blast this morning, officials initially said 50 had been killed. Reuters later reported the country's health ministry as saying the death toll was at least 80.
The explosion caused carnage during rush hour when roads are packed with worktime commuters.
The interior ministry was calling on Kabul residents to donate blood this morning, saying hospitals were in 'dire need'.
It appeared to have gone off close to a busy intersection in the Wazir Akbar Khan district but Najib Danish, deputy spokesman for the Interior Ministry, did not have a more precise location.
The neighbourhood is considered Kabul's safest area, with foreign embassies protected by dozens of 10-foot-high blast walls and government offices, guarded by police and national security forces.
The German Embassy, the Foreign Ministry and the Presidential Palace are all in the area, as are the British and the Canadian embassies. The Chinese, Turkish and Iranian embassies are also located there.
The French and German embassies were damaged by the massive bomb that ripped through Kabul's strongly fortified diplomatic quarter on Wednesday, a French minister said.
'The information that I have at the moment is that there is material damage in the French embassy, there is also material damage in the Germany embassy,' European affairs minister Marielle de Sarnez told Europe 1 radio.
She added she had no information on any possible casualties at the two missions.
MailOnline has contacted Britain's Foreign and Commonwealth Office for comment.
The blast was so heavy that more than 30 vehicles were either destroyed or damaged at the site of the attack. 'We don't know at this moment what was the target of the attack,' said Danish.
Read more on Daily Mail Site
Including children, women 58 migrants perish in Med in a week, 100 missing
ROME: At least 58 migrants, including many children, perished in the Mediterranean last week trying to reach Italy, while 100 more are still missing, according to new figures published on Tuesday.
About 10,000 people were rescued off the coast of Libya over four days last week in major rescue operations, but the bodies of 50 people were also recovered after they drowning at sea or were crushed and suffocated at the bottom of rickety boats, the UNHCR said.
In separate incidents, the Libyan coastguard also recovered seven bodies near a deflated dinghy as nearly 80 survivors desperately clung on, while the Tunisian coastguard found the body of a woman on another boat with 126 passengers that had been drifting at sea for two days.
But many more migrants are still missing, according to witnesses.
Migrants rescued by Egyptian fishermen and taken to the southern Italian city of Crotone told UNHCR representatives that at least 82 of their fellow passengers went missing when their dinghy deflated after just a few hours at sea, the UN refugee agency said Tuesday.
The International Organization for Migration (IOM) also said rescued migrants who arrived in the Sicilian city of Pozzallo on Monday told officials that dozens of people had gone missing in similar conditions.
Migrants also reported being attacked at sea by armed men who stole everything they had, including the boat’s motor, while many were wounded by gun shots, the UNHCR said.
The new tally now brings the number of migrant deaths to 1,481 and missing to 1,720 since the start of the year, according to IOM and UNHCR figures.
At this stage last year, the two organisations had registered about 2,500 victims, including 1,000 by the last week in May.
Conflict-ravaged Libya has long been a stepping stone for migrants seeking a better life in Europe.
It has has urged Europe, and particularly Italy, to supply it with the equipment it needs to monitor its southern borders, through which migrants, mostly from sub-Saharan African, enter the country.
AFP
#Kabul suicide attack: Huge blast rocks diplomatic district killed 12, more than hundreds wounded
Kabul suicide attack: Huge blast rocks diplomatic district killed 12, more than hundreds wounded
Huge blast rips through the heart of Afghan capital, in an area close to many government offices and foreign embassies.
A suicide car bomb attack in the heart of Kabul's diplomatic district has killed at least 12 people and wounded 92, according to officials, in a powerful blast described as "one of the biggest" to have hit the Afghan capital.
Sources said the explosion on Wednesday took place near Zanbaq square, in Kabul's 10th district, a highly secure area close to many government offices and foreign embassies.
A police and a hospital source confirmed to Al Jazeera that at least nine people were killed in the attack. Waheed Majroh, a spokesman for the Afghan health ministry, told Al Jazeera that dozens of people were taken to hospital after the blast.
The death toll was expected to rise. Local media reported that at least 50 people were killed in the attack, citing anonymous sources.
There was no immediate claim of responsibility. Both the Taliban and ISIL have previously staged large-scale attacks in Kabul.
Al Jazeera's Qais Azimy, reporting from Kabul, said the location of the attack was very significant, as it hit one of the Afghan capital's busiest and most secure parts.
"Kabul has been very quiet for the past week but police has confirmed to us that this was one of the biggest blasts Kabul has ever seen," he said.
Sushma Swaraj, India's minister of external affairs, tweeted that all of the staff at the Indian embassy "were safe in the massive Kabul blast".
Read more on AlJazeera
#LG Electronics Announces #Google Home Compatible Appliances
Karachi / SEOUL:- At Google I/O, LG Electronics (LG) announced a lineup of smart appliances that are fully compatible with the Google Assistant on Google Home, ushering in cutting-edge connectivity and convenience for today’s smart home. Google Home compatibility will begin rolling out this month in the United States on LG’s premium portfolio of connected smart devices, including the LG SIGNATURE brand washing machine and dryer, refrigerator, oven range and air purifier as well as an LG air conditioner and robotic vacuum. Dates of availability in other markets will be announced locally at the time of launch.
With Google Home, users will be able to access the full range of the Google Assistant’s features on connected LG appliances. Compatibility with Google Home provides tangible benefits while enhancing usability for connected devices. For example, users can check the time remaining during wash cycles on their LG SIGNATURE washing machine, tell their LG SIGNATURE refrigerator to create more ice, or adjust thermostat settings on their LG air conditioner through simple spoken commands from anywhere within range of Google Home.
Today’s announcement at Google I/O included a live demonstration of just how easy it is to connect and use the LG SIGNATURE air purifier with Google Home. With a simple voice command, users can adjust settings on the air purifier and the Google Assistant on Google Home provides up-to-the-minute air quality readings as well as verbal feedback on operational status.
“Our partnership with Google demonstrates just how easy it is to smart-enable one’s home with friendly, approachable products. You don’t have to earn a degree in rocket science to design your very own smart home,” said Song Dae-hyun, president of LG Electronics Home Appliance & Air Solutions Company. “We look forward to expanding our working relationship with Google and other innovators in this dynamic market in the years to come to make the smart home a reality for all.”
LG SIGNATURE home appliances will be the first in the LG lineup to offer Google Assistant on Google Home compatibility, delivering on the brand’s promise to offer innovations that combine the best of LG’s cutting-edge technology and world-class design with exquisite attention to detail for the most discerning consumer. LG also is offering Google Home compatibility on select connected appliances under the LG brand - including the new LG Hom-Bot Turbo+ and LG smart air conditioner - with plans to expand the offering to additional products. For more news about LG connected devices, visit www.LGnewsroom.com.
About LG Electronics Home Appliance & Air Solution Company
LG Electronics Home Appliance & Air Solution Company is a global leader in home appliances, air conditioning and air quality systems. The company is creating total solutions for the home with its industry leading core technologies. LG is committed to making life better for consumers around the world by providing thoughtfully designed products, including refrigerators, washing machines, dishwashers, cooking appliances, vacuum cleaners, built-in appliances, air conditioners, air purifiers and dehumidifiers. Collectively, these products deliver enhanced convenience, superb performance, great savings and compelling health benefits. For more information, please visit www.LG.com.
#Zong launches 4G Awareness Program in all Provinces
Zong 4G, Pakistan’s No.1 data network, embarked on a journey across Pakistan, in all provinces, to spread 4G Internet awareness throughout the country. In a nationwide activity undertaken simultaneously in several locations, Zong’s “New Hope” volunteers delivered sessions in Schools, Colleges and Universities covering students of different age brackets. The activity cuts across multiple socio-economic segments as well, covering on one hand some of the most prestigious Universities of Pakistan such as Hamdard and Balochistan Universities, whilst reaching out to charity schools for underprivileged students such as Mashal on the other.
The need of this activity is rooted in Zong’s desire to revolutionize the digital landscape of Pakistan which Zong expresses through its Brand promise of “A New Dream”. The activity was in part a contribution towards development of the 4G ecosystem in Pakistan that has the potential to radically transform Pakistan’s global outlook and economic progression.
The content of these sessions included a futuristic outlook of the technological vision of Zong’s parent company, China Mobile. It covered the smart solutions based on M2M and IoT technologies that are currently being facilitated through 4G technology. It also elaborated upon the areas where 4G will help and empower the youth of Pakistan in terms of job creation, new business startups, ease & access to information in the global marketplace, connectivity to online learning platforms and telemedicine facilities for far flung areas. Additionally, it laid out how 4G technology will be pivotal in improving the overall Law & Order situation of the country and significantly impact the functioning of governmental bodies and their interaction with the public. It further shed light on how 4G can help take Pakistani products more available at the international markets through e commerce and bring in revenue for the country, especially for far flung areas where local trade may be difficult due to inaccessible physical terrain.
In a recent report published by the ITU, Pakistan has one of the lowest internet penetration in the world. These sessions conducted by Zong’s volunteers will go a long way in spreading awareness for the need and utility of high speed 4G internet in the country.
Zong, with its 75% 4G market share, currently dominates the mobile internet market and is at the forefront of leading the digital revolution in Pakistan. This is also substantiated by the fact that Zong has already upgraded more than 80% of its network to 4G and has pledged to take that number to 100% by the end of this year through additional investment of more than USD 200 Million.
جے آئی ٹی انکوائری سے شریف خاندان کی مشکلات بڑھ سکتی ہیں: اہم رپورٹ
جے آئی ٹی انکوائری سے شریف خاندان کی مشکلات بڑھ سکتی ہیں: اہم رپورٹ
نجومیوں نے وزیر اعظم نواز شریف کے لئے خطرے کی گھنٹی بجادی: رپورٹ پڑھیں
نجومیوں نے وزیر اعظم نواز شریف کے لئے خطرے کی گھنٹی بجادی: رپورٹ پڑھیں
Important revelation about Asif Zardari by Shahid Masood - watch live with SM 28 May 2017
آصف زارداری کے اسٹیبلشمنٹ کے ساتھ معاملات انتہائی خراب ہیں، اس لئے رات گئے ملک سے خاموشی سے چلے گئے کہ ایسا نہ ہو کہ۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔ شاہد مسعود کا اہم انکشاف
Ufone announces to support the cause of educating street children
یوفون رمضان کے مہینے میں فٹ پاتھ اسکولز چلانے والی سیدہ انفاس علی شاہ کی کاوشوں کو نمایاں کرنے کیلئے وسیع پیمانے پر آگاہی مہم چلائے گا۔ یوفون نے اس اقدام کا اعلان کراچی میں منعقد ہونے والی ایک تقریب کے دوران کیا۔ اس موقع پر لی گئی تصویر میں سیدہ انفاس علی شاہ (بائیں) اور یوفون کے ریجنل جنرل منیجر فیصل رضوی (بائیں سے تیسرے) موجود ہیں۔
Karachi: Continuing to act in the true spirit of Ramzan, of caring and giving, Ufone today announced that like last year, this year too it will be supporting a noble cause. Ufone will support the inspiring cause of Syeda Anfas Ali Shah, by purchasing media space on television channels and digital media throughout Ramzan and donating this free of cost to the cause, so that it can spread its message widely across Pakistan.
Ufone aims to thus create widespread awareness of the great work being done by Anfas and motivate others to take up humanitarian initiatives, to bring about positive change in society. Anfas is running 7 footpath schools in Karachi and interior Sindh, with the aim of imparting education to those underprivileged children who belong to extremely poor families and mainly do street labour.
There is no bigger profession than working for humanity and to uplift fellow human beings, keeping their dignity intact, and this cause becomes even greater when the focus of your work is children. Ramzan is a time to reconsider, how we can learn from people who are outstanding role models. Ufone’s focus this Ramzan will remain the socio-economic uplift of society through supporting committed individuals and organizations who are working selflessly for societal progress.
Anfas is doing her Masters in International Relations and was previously also running a construction business. But now she has completely devoted herself to teaching children. Though she had to sacrifice her own comfortable life for this, she is happy as she gets indescribable self-satisfaction by helping the helpless.
She teaches children ranging from the ages of 5 to 17 years and devotes about 12 hours a day with related activities. By now she has 7 branches out of which 4 are in interior Sindh and 3 are in Defence. The reason she has chosen Defence is because this area is surrounded by slums where great number of children have no means to get education.
She got her NGO, Ocean Welfare Organisation, registered as the umbrella organization for her schools.
Some 1,500 children are getting educated in these schools, out of whom 250 are located in a remote area of interior Sindh, Sandhri. Earlier, there was no school in the area.
These street children are taught in a way that they pay back to the society. For example her fifth graders teach children at their early level of education. Moreover, her strength lies in the fact that she teaches self-respect, which is scarce in the situation the children are brought up in. She therefore promotes self-respect and earning acquired by the sweat on one’s brow, rather than the concept of alms. Children get rewarded on the basis of performance rather than given charity even though they are fed, clothed, and groomed on a daily basis. Anfas also pays Rs 50 to each child daily as a reward, even though her finances are tight.
But sustainability of the project is a huge challenge that she is facing, even though her determination and persistence are unwavering and are the foundation of her resilience.
She dreams of having these children enrolled in universities someday so that they graduate and acquire degrees.
Pakistanis are among the top most compassionate and generous people on the planet. If the people are made aware of this good work, they will come forward in tens if not hundreds of thousands to support such noble causes.
Childbearing Expenses Push 47% Of Indian Women Into Poverty
Childbearing Expenses Push 47% Of Indian Women Into Poverty
Catastrophic maternal healthcare expenses push 46.6% mothers in India into poverty–with the illiterate being especially susceptible–according to this December 2016 study by researchers from Jawaharlal Nehru University and Indian Institute of Technology, Roorkee. The expenses include childbirth, antenatal care and postnatal care expenses.
Read more on source
Canadian PM asks Pope #Francis to apologize for Church treatment of aboriginal children
Canadian PM asks Pope Francis to apologize for Church treatment of aboriginal children
ROME: Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on Monday urged Pope Francis to visit Canada to apologize to indigenous peoples for the Catholic Church’s treatment of aboriginal children in schools it ran there.
Starting in the late 19th century, about 30 percent of children of Canada’s native peoples, or about 150,000 children, were placed in what were known as “residential schools” in a government attempt to strip them of their traditional cultures and ancestral languages.
For over a century, the schools were government-funded but many were administered by Christian Churches, the majority by Roman Catholics.
“I told him how important it is for Canadians to move forward on real reconciliation with the indigenous peoples and I highlighted how he could help by issuing an apology,” Trudeau told reporters after meeting the pope.
He said he had invited the Argentine-born pontiff to make the apology in Canada.
Canada’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission said in a 2015 report that the practice, which kept children from the First Nations, Inuit and Métis peoples far from their parents, amounted to “cultural genocide”.
Many children were physically and sexually abused.
The commission made 94 recommendations, including that the pope issue a formal apology in Canada to survivors and their descendants for the Church’s “role in the spiritual, cultural, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse” of the children.
Trudeau said that in their private talks, the pope “reminded me that his entire life has been dedicated to supporting marginalized people in the world, fighting for them, and that he looks forward to working with me and with the Canadian bishops to figure out a path forward together”.
Canadian bishops have said the pope might visit next year.
Trudeau said he and the pope also discussed climate change. Unlike U.S. President Donald Trump, who met the pope last week, Trudeau and Francis agree that climate change is caused by human activity.
“We talked about how important it is to highlight the scientific basis of protecting our planet and the moral and ethical obligations to lead, to build a better future for all people on this earth,” Trudeau said.
At last week’s Group of Seven (G7) summit in Sicily, Trump refused to back a landmark international agreement reached in Paris in 2015 to reduce global warming.
Trump said he would decide this week on whether to pull out of the accord, which was backed by his predecessor Barack Obama.
Trudeau, who is Catholic, said he had “a deeply personal and wide-ranging, thoughtful conversation with the leader of my own faith”. – Reuters
Hahaha two funniest #UrduJokes
ویٹر گاہک سے
یہ کیا جی؟ صرف دس روپے کی ٹِپ
یہ تو میری اِنسلٹ ہے
گاہک
اچھا تو پھر؟
ویٹر
دیکھیں جی، بیس روپے تو دیں نا
گاہک
او نئیں بھائی، میں تمھاری ڈبل اِنسلٹ نہیں کر سکتا
لطیفہ نمبر 2
پاکستان کے ایک چڑیا گھر میں ایک شیر بہت پریشان ہو گیا کیونکہ اسے روزانہ کا صرف ایک سیر گوشت دیا جاتا تھا اور مزید طلب کرنے پر اسے کہہ دیا جاتا تھا کہ مہنگائی بہت ہے۔ اتنے سے ہی کام چلائو
جب پاکستان اور دبئی کے درمیان جانوروں کے انتقال کا منصوبہ فائنل ہو گیا تو اس شیر کو دبئی ٹرانسفر کرنے کے لیے منتحب کر لیا گیا۔ وہ شیر سمجھا کہ میری دعائیں قبول ہو گئیں ہیں۔ اب صاف ستھرا زو، اے سی اور پیٹ بھر کھانا ملے گا۔
دبئی پہنچنے کے بعد پہلے دن اسے ایک انہتائی خوبصورتی اور مہارت سے سیلڈ تھیلا ملا۔ شیر بہت خوش ہوا اور جلدی سے تھیلا کھول دیا۔ تو اس میں صرف چند کیلے تھے۔ شیر بہت حیران ہوا۔ پھر اس نے سوچا کہ شاید غلطی سے یہ تھیلا میرے پاس آ گیا ہو تو اس نے کیلے کھائے پانی پیا اور اللہ کا شکر ادا کر کے سو گیا۔
اگلے دن پھر وہی بات ہوئی۔ کھانے کا تھیلا کھولنے پر اندر سے کیلے نکلے شیر کا دماغ کھول گیا۔ اس ڈلیوری بوائے پر انتہائی غصہ آ گیا۔ بولنے لگا کل آ لینے دو اس ڈلیوری بوائے میں اس نے نمٹ لوں گا۔
اگلے دن پھر ڈلیوری بوائے آیا تو شیر نے اسے روک لیا۔ اور اس کے سامنے پیکٹ کھولا۔ اندر سے پھر کیلے نکلے۔ شیر نے ڈلیوری بوائے کو بہت غصے کہا تم ایسے کام کرتے ہو تمہیں پتہ ہی نہیں کہ شیر کیا کھا تا ہے۔ روز غلط کیلوں کا پیکٹ دے جاتے ہو۔
ڈلیوری بوائے نے بہت اطمینان سے اس کی ساری بات سنی اور بہت نرم اور پرسکون لہجے میں بولا۔
"سر میں جانتا ہوں کہ آپ جنگل کے بادشاہ ہیں ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ لیکن ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ معزرت کے ساتھ آپ کو یہاں بندر کے ویزے پر لایا گیا ہے۔
Two zabardast funny #Jokes - #Joke
استاد: سائنس بتاتی ہے کہ پانی کو ابالنے سے جراثیم مر جاتے ہیں اور پانی صاف ہو جاتا ہے۔
گُل خان: استاذ جی، پانی کیسے صاف ہو گیا، جراثیم کی لاشیں تو پانی میں ہی رہتی ہیں ناں۔ 💛😋
#لطیفہ نمبر ۲
ایک دوست دوسرے سے
یار لکس صابن والوں نے مجھ سے پانچ کروڑ روپے کا سوال پوچھا تھا
پاکستان میں ایسا کون ہے جو سال میں ایک بار نہاتا ہے؟
یقین کرو دوست پانچ کروڑ پر لات مار دی میں نے مگر تمہارا نام نہیں بتایا۔
#Russia made a new multipurpose transport helicopter
(WebDesk) Brand new Russian multipurpose Ka-62 transport helicopter conducted its first test flight, “Russian Helicopters” holding reported on Thursday.
Vice Prime Minister of Russia, Dmitry Rogozin, published a video footage of the flight on his Twitter page:
КА-62 начал летать. Поздравляю коллектив конструкторов, заводчан ААК "Прогресс" и летчиков-испытателей! pic.twitter.com/hrGxZpt48n— Дмитрий Рогозин (@Rogozin) May 25, 2017
The aircraft performed circling at a speed of 110 km/h. The flight endured for 15 minutes.
Kamov Ka-62 is a multipurpose transport helicopter designed on a basis of military Ka-60 model and intended to partially replace Mil Mi-8 helicopters which have been produced since 1965.
Ka-62 is capable of carrying passengers, performing offshore operations, can be used as an aircraft for emergency medical aid, search and rescue operations, cargo transporting, etc. Thanks to significant service ceiling and thrust-to-weight ratio, the helicopter is also capable of conducting search and rescue missions in mountainous areas.
The new aircraft, however, received a portion of criticism from aviation experts who criticized the long period that passed from initial development of the helicopter in 1990 to its actual production. Besides, analytics chastised presence of a rather large amount of foreign-manufactured components, especially the French Turbomeca Ardiden 3G power plant.
#Joke - Mian bivvvi ki bahut hi funny joke ☺ ☻
میاں بیوی میں گھمسان کی جنگ ہورہی تھی کہ
Hahaha very funny - every one must read this #joke
ایک لڑکی نے سوچا کہ اگر میں اچانک اپنے خاوند کو یہ بتائے بغیر چلی جاؤں کہ میں کہاں جا رہی ہوں تو ان کا ردعمل کیا ہو گا؟
یہ سوچ کر اس نے خط لکھا،
"میں آپ سے تنگ آ چکی ہوں اور مزید آپ کے ساتھ نہیں رہنا چاہتی۔ میں آپ کو چھوڑ کر ہمیشہ ہمیشہ کے لئے جا رہی ہوں"۔
یہ خط لکھ کر اس نے سائیڈ ٹیبل پر رکھا اور خود بیڈ کے نیچے چھپ گئی۔
جب اس کا خاوند واپس آیا تو اس نے خط پڑھا اور اس کی پشت پر کچھ لکھ دیا۔
پھر اس نے ناچنا اور گانا شروع کر دیا۔ اپنا فون اٹھایا، کسی لڑکی کو نمبر ملایا اور بولا،
"جان آج میں بہت خوش ہوں، میں اپنی بیوی سے بہت تنگ تھا، آج مجھے اندازہ ہو گیا کہ اس سے شادی میری زندگی کی سب سے بڑی غلطی تھی، میں بس کپڑے بدل کر تم سے ملنے آ رہا ہوں، اب بس تم ہو گی، میں ہوں گا اور رقص میں سارا جنگل ہو گا"۔
اس کے بعد اس نے کپڑے بدلے اور گھر سے باہر چلا گیا۔
اس کی بیوی کچھ دیر بیڈ کے نیچے ہی لیٹی رہی، منہ پر ہاتھ رکھ کر روتی رہی، آخر ہمت کر کے باہر نکلی۔ پھر اس نے سوچا کہ آخر اس کے خاوند نے خط کے پیچھے کیا لکھا تھا؟
اس نے کاغذ پلٹا تو وہاں لکھا تھا:
"پاگل عورت بیڈ کے نیچے سے تمہارے پاؤں نظر آ رہے تھے، میں مارکیٹ سے دودھ لینے جا رہا ہوں، دس منٹ میں آ جاؤں گا"
#Joke - Shauhar joke...extremely funny ☻ ☺
شوہر: آج کھانے میں کیا بناؤ گی
بیوی: جو آپ کہیں
شوہر: واہ بھئی واہ ایسا کرو دال چاول بنا لو
بیوی: ابھی کل ہی تو کھائے تھے
شوہر: تو سبزی روٹی بنالو
بیوی: بچے نہیں کھائیں گے
شوہر: تو چھولے پوری بنالو چینج ہوجائے گا
بیوی: جی سا متلا جاتا ہے مجھے ہیوی ہیوی لگتا ہے
شوہر: یار آلو قیمہ بنالو اچھا سا
بیوی: آج منگل ہے گوشت نہیں ملے گا
شوہر: پراٹھا انڈہ
بیوی: صبح ناشتے میں روز کون کھاتا ہے
شوہر: چل چھوڑ یار ہوٹل سے منگوالیتے ہیں
بیوی: روز روز باہر کا کھانا نقصان دہ ہوتا ہے جانتے ہیں آپ
شوہر: کڑھی چاول
بیوی: دہی کہاں ملے گا اس وقت
شوہر: پلاؤ بنالو چکن کا
بیوی: اس میں ٹائم لگے گا پہلے بتاتے
شوہر: پکوڑے ہی بنالو اس میں ٹائم نہیں لگے گا
بیوی: وہ کوئی کھانا تھوڑی ہے کھانا بتائیں پراپر
شوہر :پھر کیا بناؤ گی
بیوی: جو آپ کہیں سرتاج
#Joke - Doctor sahab...aur cigrate peenay wala
مزے مزے کے لطیفوں کے لئے ہمارے فیس بک پیج کو ضرور لائیک کریں: جوکس شیر کریں تاکہ آپ کے دوست بھی لطف اندوز ہوسکیں
#لطیفہ #لطیفے #جوکس #اردو_لطیفے #فنی_تصویر
#Quote - Jab taleem ka mqsad naukari ka hosool ban jaye to..
تعلیم کا مقصد: جب تعلیم کا بنیا مقصد نوکری کا حصول بن جائے تو لیڈر نہیں نوکر پیدا ہوتے ہیں
#BestQuote - Jeep maal say khali ho, to fikir mat karna
جیب مال سے خالی ہو تو فکر مت کرنا مگر دل ایمان سے خالی نہ ہو۔
Huge increase in President #MamnoonHussain salary - 6 lakh increased in just salary beside other expenses
Huge increase in President #MamnoonHussain salary - 6 lakh increased in just salary beside other expenses
ISLAMABAD (News Desk) Whether the recent budget for next fiscal year 2017-18 will give relief to common people or not, but President of Pakistan Mamnoon Hussain has gotten huge raise in salary.
The pay of the president has been raised from Rs1 million to Rs1.6 million after an increase of Rs 6000,000 allowance per month.
According to documents, the government has allocated Rs 959.6 million for Presidency, Rs 653.3 million for salaries and allowances of employees, besides setting aside Rs 20 million for decoration of the Presidency.
In the budget, Rs1 million has been allocated for President discretionary fund, Rs 41.3 million for gardens of, Rs 39.7 million for vehicles, Rs 21.2 million for dispensary, while Rs 13.2 million has been set aside for foreign tours of the president.
ISLAMABAD (News Desk) Whether the recent budget for next fiscal year 2017-18 will give relief to common people or not, but President of Pakistan Mamnoon Hussain has gotten huge raise in salary.
The pay of the president has been raised from Rs1 million to Rs1.6 million after an increase of Rs 6000,000 allowance per month.
According to documents, the government has allocated Rs 959.6 million for Presidency, Rs 653.3 million for salaries and allowances of employees, besides setting aside Rs 20 million for decoration of the Presidency.
In the budget, Rs1 million has been allocated for President discretionary fund, Rs 41.3 million for gardens of, Rs 39.7 million for vehicles, Rs 21.2 million for dispensary, while Rs 13.2 million has been set aside for foreign tours of the president.
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